When saying no is difficult in this networked, high-speed world. When you say no to a colleague, then, or a family request, or a date night, there is guilt attached to saying no. But being able to say no is critical for reclaiming your boundaries, your mental health and your wellbeing. And how you can say no without shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, you don\u2019t say no, due to the social and psychological dynamics of the situation. Our brains have been deceived into prioritising the interests of others. Such training is enhanced by fear of rejection, selfishness or compromise. Also, anxiety over conflict can force us to agree to something if we don\u2019t want to say no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First you have to decide what you really care about. Never stop thinking about your career, your family, your health or your personal growth. Once you know what you\u2019re aiming for, you\u2019re more likely to filter requests and decide whether it is worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, if you\u2019ve decided to spend your weekends with your parents, you have no reason to say yes at the last minute to something you don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Be clear and kind when you say no. Don\u2019t be pompous or justify your arguments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For instance:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is fine to apologise if you say no, but apologising incessantly will only be hurtful. Never be afraid to say that you regret it, but never overdo it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if you don\u2019t know how to do anything but want to, there\u2019s always a way to offset the denial. But only if it feels natural and acceptable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s like anything else \u2014 no is learned. You can be small and there\u2019s nothing at stake: you say no to a telemarketer\u2019s offer, or don\u2019t agree to a dinner date. As time goes by, you\u2019ll get more used to bigger issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can limit the requests that you have to turn down by making yourself aware of the limits from the start. For example, if you\u2019re an after-hours employee, let everyone know that you\u2019re putting new limitations on your time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If a person says you\u2019re needed, don\u2019t rush in. Take a minute (or day) to decide whether you will say yes or no. It prevents you from making snap decisions and lets you respond well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even when you are a pro at saying no, guilt can still lurk. Here\u2019s how to handle it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you learn to say no, you lead a happier and more balanced life. It allows you to schedule your time, build your connections, and nurture yourself. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, every no reaffirms that you believe in yourself and can make the choices that are best for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nonchalant refusal is an important life lesson. It empowers you to know your limits and live authentically. Always keep in mind you don\u2019t have to be everything to everyone. You create room for a meaning-filled life by saying no in a kind, humane way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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