How to Handle a Friend Who Always Cancels Plans

Written by:  Aquib Nawab

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Friendship

1. Recognize the pattern

Notice if your friend's cancellations are becoming a habit. Keep track of how often they bail and look for common excuses. Understanding the frequency can help you address the issue more effectively.

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2. Communicate openly

Have an honest conversation with your friend about how their cancellations affect you. Express your feelings without accusation, using "I" statements. For example, "I feel disappointed when our plans fall through."

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3. Set clear expectations

Establish ground rules for making and keeping plans. Agree on a reasonable timeframe for cancellations and how to communicate changes. This mutual understanding can help reduce last-minute bailouts.

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4. Offer alternatives

Suggest different types of plans that may be easier for your friend to commit to. Consider shorter meetups, virtual hangouts, or spontaneous get-togethers. Flexibility can increase the chances of spending time together.

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5. Practice self-care

Engage in activities you enjoy, nurture other relationships, and prioritize your own well-being. Remember that their cancellations are not a reflection of your value as a friend.

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6. Adjust your expectations

While it's important to address the issue, accept that some people struggle with commitments. Lower your expectations and be pleasantly surprised when plans do work out.

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7. Implement consequences

If the behavior persists, consider scaling back on making plans with this friend. Let them initiate gatherings and be less available yourself. This natural consequence may encourage them to value your time more.

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8. Explore underlying issues

Gently inquire if there are deeper reasons for their frequent cancellations, such as anxiety, depression, or personal problems. Offering support and understanding may help address the root cause.

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9. Seek balance

Maintain a diverse social circle to avoid relying too heavily on one friend. Cultivate relationships with more reliable individuals who value your time. This approach ensures you have a support system.

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10. Re-evaluate the friendship

Consider if the emotional toll of constant cancellations outweighs the benefits of the relationship. It's okay to prioritize your own well-being and invest in more reciprocal friendships.

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Thanks for Reading

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