Your best friend means the world to you. You share everything together – your hopes, dreams, secrets, and more. But lately, you’ve noticed some suspicious changes in their behavior that make you wonder if they could be cheating on their partner. Though the thought hurts, you want to find out the truth. Here’s how to discreetly investigate whether your best friend is being unfaithful.
Observe Changes in Normal Routines
Start paying closer attention to any deviations from your best friend’s normal routines, habits, or personality. For example:
- Are they suddenly unavailable for your regular hangouts more often, or being vague about how they’re spending their free time?
- Have they stopped mentioning their partner as much, or seem disengaged when their name comes up?
- Are they dressing differently, paying more attention to their appearance, or grooming themselves more?
- Do they seem to be hiding their phone screen when you walk up or acting jumpy or defensive when using their device around you?
Monitor Communication Patterns
Take note if your best friend’s communication patterns with their partner are shifting.
- Do they ignore calls or texts from their partner more frequently in your presence?
- Have the number of calls/texts dropped significantly overall?
- Are they protective or secretive when communicating on their phone around you?
Any deviation from normal communication levels could suggest something amiss.
Watch for New Secrecy
See if your best friend is exhibiting unusual secretiveness lately about any aspect of their life. For instance:
- Do they provide vague, dubious explanations about where they were or who they were with?
- Have they mentioned a new friend/colleague but been unwilling to discuss details about them?
- Are they more reluctant to let you casually use their phone or computer when you’re hanging out?
Increased secrecy about day-to-day activities can be a cheating red flag.
Look for Changes in Mood
Pay attention to your best friend’s general mood and emotional state as well. Signs like:
- Acting upbeat/euphoric in a new way and for no clear reason
- Having abrupt mood shifts or irritability
- Appearing anxious/distracted in a way that’s not normal for them
Could suggest they’re involved in an exciting new relationship they’re feeling guilty about.
Monitor Online Activity
Carefully observe your best friend’s online behaviors for any suspicious shifts.
- Do they use social media much less frequently or at odd hours?
- Have they changed privacy settings to limit access?
- Do they close browser windows or apps swiftly when you enter the room?
If your best friend was cheating, limiting online visibility could help hide that from their partner.
Enlist Outside Opinions
For a reality check, subtly ask one or two trusted mutual friends if they’ve observed any odd behavior changes in your best friend lately. See if they confirm any of your concerns.
Having other perspectives bolsters your sense that something may be amiss.
Look for Tangible Evidence
While more risky, concrete evidence like finding flirty texts, seeing your best friend interacting affectionately with someone else, catching them in an outright lie, or overhearing them express romantic feelings for someone besides their partner would confirm cheating.
But tread carefully here – prying excessively into a friend’s privacy or confronting them without sufficient proof could damage your friendship.
Have an Honest Heart-to-Heart
If you’ve gathered legitimate reasons to think your best friend may be cheating, have a kind, non-judgmental conversation with them privately explaining your concerns. They may provide explanations that relieve your suspicions or even confide they have been unfaithful.
If not, share that you care deeply and are here to support them if anything is amiss in the relationship. With compassion, honesty and discretion, you may be able to get to the truth.
Don’t Jump to Conclusions
Before assuming the worst, rule out alternative explanations for any odd behaviors first. Your friend could just be under stress, dealing with other issues like mental health struggles, planning a surprise for their partner, or simply need more personal space lately.
Give them the benefit of the doubt unless you have solid evidence of cheating. False accusations could irreparably damage your friendship.
Prioritize Their Wellbeing
If it becomes clear your best friend is cheating, don’t condemn them. Remind them of their partner’s feelings, but approach the situation in a caring way focused on their wellbeing. Let them know you want to understand what’s going on without making excuses for the betrayal of trust.
With unconditional support, you can help your friend through this ethically questionable time, keeping both the friendship and their partner in mind. Handle the truth with empathy.
Discovering a best friend’s infidelity rocks the foundations of trust in a friendship. But by watching for red flags, gathering insight from others, and having a compassionate conversation, you may be able to discern if your suspicions are valid. If so, your priority is helping your friend face the truth with humility, honor, and care for all involved. With wisdom and patience, your friendship can weather even the difficult truth of cheating.
